Toto... I don't Think We're In Kansas Anymore...

Coach Oz

If only… These are the most self-defeating words ever spoken. And they are spoken a lot. In the Wizard of Oz, Judy Garland sings in that seductive, too-deep-for-a-young-girl voice, "Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true." So here's the problem with dreams. Just as Dorothy did, we all dream of receiving things like money, love, beauty, an easy life, understanding… without having to work for them. In Dorothy's case, she has a dog that she has trouble controlling, a nasty tormentor whom she doesn't understand and who clearly has no interest in understanding others, and she gets into trouble when she acts childishly, walks along the fence and falls into the pig pen. And, in the beginning, she does get saved by the farm hand. She is a child, after all. But reading deeper into the metaphor, Dorothy is an archetype for everyone living their lives suffering. A Princess awaiting a Prince to relieve her of all of her cares. But the whole point of the film is that people must save themselves. It is very aptly illustrated in the Wizard of Oz that we all possess the courage, heart, and intelligence to accomplish whatever it is that we set out to do, we just have to access these resources through education and self-reflection (searching our hearts), and apply these skills mindfully (courageously). Yep. I look at this movie as an excellent example of high-quality Life Coaching! The Wizard does not give Dorothy, the Tin Man, the Cowardly Lion, or the Scarecrow anything of intrinsic value or even anything that might be useful on the journey (like a bucket of water). He sets them to a task, sends them on a journey, and then explains that they should be proud of themselves for having reached their goals. Then, he disappears from their lives, confident that he has left his friends with a better understanding of themselves, and thus mature enough to find their own way home.

The Yellow Brick Road Ends at Reality

Most of us, at one point or another, have dreamed of being famous, being wealthy, owning luxurious things, not having to work… If only we could win the lottery. If only we had gotten our PhD's. If only we had been born into wealth. If only we had the money to get a nanny, cleaning lady, house manager, accountant and gardener. Then we'd have the time to do what it is that we really want to do. We idealize situations that we have not experienced, and so, set ourselves up for very deep seeded frustrations with our lives as they are. We are frustrated with reality. It is a real shame that most of us live our lives longing for the "what if", instead of taking steps to achieve a reality that we would like. So what do we do instead? Just what Dorothy did. We run away. We escape. And we have thousands of tools with which to do just that. Food, TV, work, the internet, books, blogs, drugs, alcohol, plastic surgery, Facebook, shopping, casinos, friends, video games… For some of us, even exercise is a means of escape. You've seen those overly buff, tanned-all-year folks, haven't you? And some of us get so caught up in the idea that a better life lies elsewhere that we literally walk away. But a good coach can get you to realize that the only thing standing between you and happiness is you.

Philosophoz

Wellness and Life Coaches are trained to help people investigate their own feelings about themselves and their lives, and to help them become fully aware of the feelings that hold them back. They also help people to be appreciative of everything that they have and get joy from just being alive. They essentially get people to deal with reality. Eckhart Tolle calls this state being "fully awake"; as would Buddhists (Buddhists would also call it enlightenment). Nietzsche calls it "life-affirmation", Sartre, "being-in-itself" and Maslow termed it "self-actualization." The list of philosophers, psychologists, spiritual leaders, writers, singers and artists that try to describe, define and express happiness is vast and diverse, indeed! You'd think civilization would "get it" by now. But we don't. Most of us lie somewhere along the spectrum of completely ignoring reality (hoarders, alcoholics, terrorists, drug addicts, gang bangers, the clinically insane) to conveniently ignoring parts of it at times (letting the kids watch TV so you don't have to entertain them). But Life and Wellness Coaches know that somewhere deep within ourselves we all recognize that there is no such thing as living in a dream world. Coaches understand that making default choices out of habit is a bad thing, even when no real harm is done, and they can get us to make better choices for ourselves more, or even most of the time.

Advertoz ;-)

Now, I already know that some of you have gone down the path of feeling guilty. "I let my kids watch TV all the time! Bad, mommy… bad!" Or, "I'm so disorganized… if only I could get the house in order, then I'd get to that book I want to write." Fully awake people do not cause their own stress by having these thoughts. The self-actualized have the confidence to say to themselves, "I made the choice to let my children watch TV because they had been at school all day and needed a break, and it was convenient and a treat for me to cook dinner without interruptions tonight." Enlightened people recognize that the book is more important than a clean house, but that the house is important, too. So they balance their activities, recognizing that a break from writing to clean the house will actually help their writing. A good coach can help you get to this point. Can get you to break free of habitual behavior and fear of the unknown. So… sorry, Dorothy, but, there's no place like home. The grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence, money can't buy you love (or an easy life), and if you're "waitin' on the world to change", you'll be waiting forever. It is in the changing of the self that one finds true happiness. Can you do this on your own? Of course, you can. And you should definitely try. There are innumerable materials available to begin your training for becoming self-actualized. But if you find you can't quite get started, or get stuck, or get lost on the path somewhere along the way, you might want to find your own Wizard of OZ. You might just want to get a coach.